i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she peed on how many people?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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