If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
