please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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