I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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