Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
