Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
