What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
