Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We had to coat check the pizza.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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