you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
