i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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