So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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