Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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