When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just found puke in my bra..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
