You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize