Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
