think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
