i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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