I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
is it fun? or sober?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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