he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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