I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
