What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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