it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
