it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
