So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
soo... how was my night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
