i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
