You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
