There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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