So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
