Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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