just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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