I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize