i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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