you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize