Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize