I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
