she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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