A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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