If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
