In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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