I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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