all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
