I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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