so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
