:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love you. Go after that dick
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
