A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
