Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
