her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
