you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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