i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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