Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Are we still banned from the library?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
