she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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