Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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