A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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