You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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