I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
