Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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