the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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