Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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