i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
